Bullying
Rachel's story

What do you see when you reflect on how you’re treating people? Rachel was on the soccer team at a public high school, and her GPA was 3.4. But she was treating people badly. She heard the truth from her friends and parents, and decided to change how she was acting.

When I was around 15 years old, I started to struggle at home with my parents, because I was very, very unsure of myself. I went into this whole identity crisis. Who did I want to be? Who were my friends? Where do I fit into this whole picture?

I definitely lost sight of what was important to me, and kind of lost my identity. I started treating people the way they shouldn't have been treated – with lack of respect.

I had this whole notion that it was cool not to treat people nicely and that being in the popular crowd was what it was all about. I thought you had to push people to get to the top.

My best friend wrote me a letter, explaining how I wasn't treating people the way they should be treated, and explaining that I am a good person inside, and had just lost it and had to get a grip on things.

My parents worried about me, and they were just straight up: “Rach, what's going on? We know something's going on.”

My friends were like that, too. My mom and my dad sat me down, and said it made them sad I was pushing them away. They said it was OK that I wanted to be independent, and they didn't want to smother me, but to treat them a little nicer, with more courtesy.

That's all it took. Deep down inside I knew it. I felt really bad about it.

I think that was definitely an important time for me and I was willing to change. I was willing to recognize the fact that I wasn't acting like myself. I started to get lost when I stopped acting like myself.

I definitely took a lot of time to reflect on how I was acting. If I kept on rolling with certain kids, I don't think I'd have any clue what I want. I think I'd still be like, screaming inside, looking for myself. I think I'd have much less confidence, and practically no voice at all.

Ask yourself, why are you bullying? Seriously. Does it make you feel good to hurt people? If it does, then you gotta find something else. Because hurting people to make you feel good, that's not gonna work.