Bullying
Jim's story

How do you get through feeling that you don’t fit in? Jim went to public school in a city by the ocean. He likes sports, and bugs, and animals, too. Kids made fun of his sensitive side. Talking got him through it. He found out he was not alone.

I didn't really blend in too well going into junior high. You're meeting new people, because different elementary schools are coming together into junior high, and kids can be snobby. There're different groups, and I couldn't really find which group I belonged to.

I wasn't really into sports. My father got me involved in that. I loved nature, I loved animals and bugs. That kind of made me a little different from everyone else.

I was big and everyone liked to make fun of me, because kids like to be tough. And the big kids – if you're not tough and macho – they'll be like, “What's your problem?” They'll really make fun of you, because you're not sticking up for yourself.

I knew how to defend myself, but I didn't go looking for fights. They came to me when I was younger, just because kids wanted a challenge “This kid must be a wimp,” you know? When you're that age you're all mixed up inside and you're very vulnerable. You ask yourself: Who are my friends? Why don't these people want to hang around with me? Am I not good just because I don't fit in with them?

There were times when I really felt ashamed. Between the loneliness and the pain that I felt inside, I didn't know what to think anymore. I felt that I should change. Yet, I didn't want to. The pain that I felt was real strong, yet the desire that I had to be a good person stayed with me. I just stayed strong through it.

My mom really helped me through the times that were tough. I'd come home with that grumpy face, feeling so horrible inside. She felt it was very important for me to talk, and she pushed and pushed until she got it out of me. She'd be like, “Listen Jim, I know how you're feeling. I know you're upset.” She told me: “Never change. Always stay true to yourself. Just because these kids are mean to you doesn't mean you have to act like them to get their attention, to hang around with them. These kids are probably jealous of you, or they're just mean kids trying to pick on other kids to make themselves feel better. Be a good kid, keep on treating kids nice and, believe me, you'll be fine. Don't worry. There’re tough times now, but you'll work through them. Just be yourself.

I just stayed being a nice kid. I treated people nice, and they started giving a positive response back, you know? And it made me feel good. It started to put the scars in my heart away. Kids finally starting accepting me, because I was a nice, happy-go-lucky kid, you know?

For those kids that don't have parents to talk to, go to someone else, because you can't stay bundled up. Go to a teacher, an older brother, a big brother, someone you know you can trust, and will give you the right advice.

To all those kids that have the same problem I had, I'd tell them you're not the only one out there. There are tons of kids like you. Don't be afraid to open up your heart. It's all right to be sensitive. Break down that macho act and be yourself. Be a good person, and everything will come to you. You don't have to go through it by yourself. You can always find somebody like you. You just got to look in the right places.